Text: Matthew 7:13-14 Enter by the narrow gate.

Principle: Exposure, as a principle, is easily understood. If we are fearful, we tend to avoid. Exposure is facing what is daunting but in manageable ‘doses’ until the fear and even paralysis reduces to a manageable level.

The theory is essentially stimulus and response, in which the mind becomes habituated and alarm signals become weaker.

How to:

Exposure is simply about facing what makes us uncomfortable. Naturally we will react or become triggered, but this is welcomed not avoided. You can observe that every time you react, it gets a little bit weaker. If you avoid, the reaction get stronger.

There is something of a paradox in the concept of avoidance. We can do all sorts of good things: find a meaningful job, engage in an exercise program, go bushwalking, take up a hobby, join a club, contribute to charity, learn a new skill or socialise with friends. Even doing a good thing ? such as helping a church ? can be an act of avoidance, for example to distract from an uncomfortable emotion. One example of this is hyperactivity to mask depression ? the manic defence. Then the good thing is unlikely to be very satisfying. But facing the uncomfortable emotion, exposure, gives us the space to do good things and find them satisfying. More about this when we consider values and committed living in a later sermon.

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Text: The idea of mindful noticing is in Jesus’ teaching on the Sermon on the Mount, “Look at the birds of the air, they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, and how they grow; they are neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these.” (Matthew 6:28-29).

Principle:

Mindfulness is all about focus. Noticing. Duke Ellington said, “There are two kinds of music – good and bad. You can tell them apart by listening.” Listening in a focused way is another form of mindfulness.

To do: Stop and listen. What do you hear?

How to:

Mindfulness is simply paying attention, internally or externally, in an accepting way. It is characterized by attention with a gentle curiosity. You could mindfully count the bricks in a wall or books on a shelf.

Mindfulness is now big in psychological treatment with therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). The effectiveness has been shown through randomized controlled trials. Mindfulness can be helpful when our minds are full of ‘speeding thoughts’, we can become grounded and present and not tossed around by distracting or negative thoughts. 

For example, you could try being mindful in the shower. Simply notice the sensation of water hitting your body. No need to do anything extra, just notice. I walk Truff twice each day. He challenges me to be more mindful because he notices every smell, stopping to investigate and only reluctantly, with a pull of the leash, does he move on.

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Text: Matthew 5:33-37 Let your word be ‘yes, yes’ or ‘no, no.’

Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, said that the soul is died the colour of its leisure thoughts. We know that thoughts can torment or even persecute. They can race like a Porche 911 and become almost impossible to control.  Are we at the mercy of our thoughts or can we do something about them? To think or not to think, that is the question (sorry Shakespeare)

Principle: Thought diffusion is a psychological technique to objectify and displace or distance yourself from distressing thoughts.

How to:

Thought de-fusion is an important psychological technique. Thoughts and emotions are often closely linked. They can be ‘sticky’. TD is a way of separating or to de-fusing the thought from negative emotions. You might feel triggered by a distressing thought which spikes your anxiety or worsens your mood. An individual’s thoughts can be one-sided and lose perspective or become fixated. Or a person can become so preoccupied and not present to what’s happening in his or her life.

Negative thoughts can be emotionally bruising. This can happen when thoughts are taken too seriously.

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Radical Acceptance

Text: Matthew 6:25-27 Do not worry about your life, what you will lead or what you will drink. This sermon is the first in a number which I will preach on psychological principles and how they might apply to our spiritual growth. In each I will follow the same outline: the principle, how it works, how it is applied in psychological practice and a possible application to spiritual growth. Very practical – hopefully.

Principle:

Too much in life simply happens. We are reminded of our mortality, loved ones die, the bad news of a medical diagnosis, economic conditions change and interest rates go up. We are reminded once again that most things are beyond our control.

How do we respond? Radical acceptance is an emotional decision ‘I will accept this inescapable reality’. Or a line I read in a novel recently “the world never turned out the way you wanted it to. It simply turned. And you hung on.” (Still Life)

Radical acceptance is about accepting what is outside of your control. There is no judgment. This breaks the link of attachment to the pain. For example, grief is felt, fully, but the link to needless suffering is broken. This means watching your thoughts and feelings to identify when you are allowing yourself to feel worse than absolutely necessary.

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Rembrandt did over 40 self-portraits. In 1629, early in his career, the young artist painted himself with plumed beret, cocky, as if he knew he was about to conquer the world with his talent. Decades later, in 1669, Rembrandt approached the end of his life. In one of his last self-portraits, we see the artist with a face battered and etched by the years, a history of losses painfully evident. The rash confidence is long gone, perhaps replaced by wisdom and spiritual insight. The artist portrayed an integrated story of his life.

The self is made up of many stories. I will sketch some for you to think about in terms of your life and what makes your identity.

• The Lazy story this is life lived but not thought about. Maybe others are blamed and the self ‘excused’ but there is little depth or insight.
• The Trauma story is a scar, possibly a story that will ‘not turn off’. Think about the war veteran or survivor of DV who is plagued by nightmares.
• The Avoided story is what we refuse to see and tell. It is frozen, but has a lasting influence as it were ‘murmuring in the background.’
•  The Strong story in which we have faced daunting challenges but overcome and gained confidence in ourselves.
• The Messy story when we can find no explanation for senseless suffering. Perhaps the loss of a child. John and Ruth Harvey, only daughter went as a missionary to Africa, died in her 30’s of a hidden melanoma.
• Subversive story which undermines all other stories, perhaps even the God story.
• The Problem story in which all attention is taken up by a seemingly impossible problem.
• The Loss story is one of enduring grief.
• The Dark story from our shadow side of self.

What stories best capture aspects of your life story? Discuss for five minutes.

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