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From Spill The Beans Issue 34

I’m not sure if they’ll recognise me.
In the garden this morning
Mary thought I was someone else.
At first she didn’t recognise my voice
but when she stopped crying and looked at me
I said her name and she realised who I was.

I think she wanted to touch me,
to hold onto me
to make sure that I was not a product of her imagination
or a ghost.

I’m not sure what this resurrection body looks like
or how it would feel to someone else.
It’s new to me.
It’s a new kind of life.
It’s obviously going to be new to my friends as well.

I know that they’ve locked the doors
of where they are meeting.
They are still afraid of the Jews,
still stunned by what happened to me,
still afraid of what might happen to them.

Sealed tombs or locked doors
don’t seem to be a problem for this new body
but if I suddenly appear in the room
they’re going to be even more afraid.
I need to convince them that it’s me
and that they don’t need to fear me.
Maybe if I show them my wounds
that will help convince them.
If I somehow breathe the gift of this new life into them,
it will help them grasp what is going on.

(Pause)

It worked.
They were so happy to see me.
They are beginning to realise
that this new life is about them as well.
One problem though,
Thomas wasn’t with them tonight.
It’ll be really hard for him
when they talk about seeing me.
He’ll know he’s missed out
and he’ll want to see me for himself,
and I don’t blame him,
this new life isn’t easy to understand.

(Pause)

It was better tonight.
Thomas was there,
and the others were still caught up
in the wonder of this past week.
I held out my hands to Thomas
so that he could see what the others had already seen
and he believed at once
that it was really me.

I said something to Thomas
which I hope will help other people
to know who I am
and what really happened to me.

I told him and the others
that people would come after them
who would also be my friends,
and I would bless them,
because they had never had the opportunity to meet me
in a human body
and yet they too would love me,
they too would be my friends.

From Spill The Beans Issue 34

Thank you, God, for understanding
that we’re not just being awkward
when we keep asking questions:
we really want to know.
Thank you for not getting annoyed
when we niggle, and push,
and won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.
Some things are too important
not to be sure about.
We need to see for ourselves.
Thank you for understanding, God,
when we get upset and frustrated
because we feel left out, and left behind;
when everyone else seems to know
who they are and where they belong,
and we are so unsure.
But you see us, gentle God,
and you know us.
You hear what we’re not saying
behind the words we speak.
Help us to trust you, and to find,
in the trusting,
that you are absolutely true.
Amen.